I love thunderstorms and yesterday had me remembering standing on my deck back in Topeka and being amazed by how a storm develops. We are getting closer to the house being done and I am looking forward to watching storms come in from the boys' first room.
The room where I sat in the rocking chair and attempted to remember who I fed last when they were wee little lads. Can you tell that Scotland is on my mind? The room where Zakaria began his obsession with rockets after we tried to see the launch from the window back in 2014.
Eid ul Adha is coming up and in all honestly, it just feels weird (granted, what doesn't feel weird these days?) No sending my prayer requests to those going for Hajj, no last minute outfit choices, no getting annoyed that I can't hear the Eid khutbah. However, getting many WhatsApp messages from friends working together to donate to various causes during these special days reminds me of the true essence of Eid. Also, I am pretty pleased I no longer have to go to some random town in Kansas and watch a cow be slaughtered after Eid prayer. There are many childhood memories seared in my brain and that is one I really, really would like to remove.
Zakaria is with is father for two weeks and I am keeping myself busy with a puzzle and Downton Abby in the evenings. It's fascinating watching it again after losing someone. I already adored Carson but man, "You cry, My Lady. You have a good cry, that is what is needed now. And when you are ready, you can get to work. Because you are strong enough".
The AAMDSIF Foundation Patient and Family Conference was last week, along with the March for Marrow. Did I cry thinking about 2018's March for Marrow and how I had to watch my child be intubated while other walked/run in honor of him? Of course I did but then I looked at the faces of aplastic anemia patients on a Zoom call during a support group breakout session and listened to them talk about rigors and realized, Hadi would want me to continue to work to spread knowledge about aplastic anemia. Go ahead, look up rigors, I know you want to and then think about how my precious child would ask his nurses for two warm blankets, one for him and one for his mother.
Much love to all of you during all of this...whatever "this" is.