Zakaria is asleep on my lap on our flight back to DC. Tears roll down my face as I rub the back of his head and think of Hadi. They both have/had moles on the back of their necks.
This was my first trip with Zakaria on my own...well, at least without a wedding ring on my finger. The kid is an amazing travel partner. Universal Studios and Disney World always gets me giddy but also makes me fear for humanity. I needed this trip for many reasons.
Of course it was hard to watch siblings take in all of the excitement of Star Wars and the Christmas parade. That being said, listening to Zakaria talk about Hadi’s excitement about riding E.T. at Universal Studios reminded me of my spunky beautiful boy. I can vividly remember Hadi playing on his Switch as he was taken in for one of a bazillion CT scans at NIH but it felt incredible being reminded of how that kid convinced me to let him ride the Tower of Terror and how happy he was talking about it.
I smiled to myself listening to all the couples obviously frustrated with one another because well, it’s Disney and thought...being forced to figure out how to manage maneuvering traveling as a single mother definitely has its perks.
One of the flight attendants has on candy cane tights on and it just dawned on me how quickly this year is coming to a close. I started the year married with three children, one of them in Jannah and living in a beautiful house. I end the year with my body riling with...hurt, anger, and me about to belt out “Into the Unknown”. Yeah, Zakaria and I watched it again...don’t judge. It might be my motion sickness but my stomach churns thinking back to running up the stairs and seeing half of the closet empty and then seeing a room cleared of a bed and a desk. I also end this year with a renewed sense of faith in the...you guessed it, the unknown. I have no doubt Allah (SWT) will continue to guide me and reduce my anxiety about the future, including how to rebuild my house. I mean, I think making me go through getting stuck on a Harry Potter roller coaster was a bit much but it definitely was easier to handle after dealing with a bone marrow failure disease. It was also cool to see the whomping willow up close.
Tomorrow is Christmas and Zakaria wants to head to the NIH. I still have the pajamas from the sack of presents while at the NIH. The amount of “Christmas” presents Hadi was given was incredible but I also received some pretty awesome stuff. Hadi loved saying, “Mommy is going to have to do some damage control when we get home.” Thank you to the Children’s Inn and Dr. Weiner, who is Jewish for making sure this Muslim family could enjoy the generosity of people, particularly during this time of year while at the NIH. As well as to those who donated the Be The Match and/or the Research Fund and continue to do so. Thank you to those who fulfilled Hadi’s Amazon Wish List multiple times. Just saying, my Wish List is...Poe Dameron in case you wanted to know.
We are about to begin our initial descent and I know everyone is wondering so I will just tell you. I only bought one pair of Baby Yoda socks. 😊
Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Holidays, Happy Say Whatever You Want...just keep me and Zakaria in your prayers, duas, thoughts and find a cure for aplastic anemia.
Thank you for all the support and love.
Saira and Team Watience