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Can I blink? No, no I can’t.

I started wearing glasses in second grade. I think they had little rainbows on them. Contacts in sixth grade and I have switched between the two since. I have been pretty consistent with my glasses since the NIH just because tears sometimes knock my contacts out. So, why not Lasik is what you may ask. Because the thought of it terrifies me. Which is why I literally almost ran out of the cornea specialist’s office when he said I needed a procedure to help with my kerataconus and really shouldn’t put it off. I tried convincing him it was all good that my corneas are cone shaped and not curved like they are supposed to be, they are fashionable. Anyway, I had the procedure on Monday and was so proud of myself. I can barely stand using an eye lash curler but I laid patiently while the doctor used what I can only describe as eye tongs to keep my eye open. My eye was numbed and then I got to stare at a green light. I kept giving myself littlle pep talks and then started thinking about how many procedures sweet Hadi endured and I was in awe of him all over again. My lovely dad drove me home and we picked up my meds. Definitely was not the most pleasant experience after the numbing wore off but man, the pain meds knocked me out and the dreams were intense and involved many tiny people. Zakaria made sure I was comfortable on the couch with Baby Yoda and a Star Wars pillow.

The lovely doctor’s office somehow forgot to give me the post operation directions/expectations and so

I wasn’t aware that my eye would be hazy and I definitely had to have a nice conversation with my anxiety about my vision not always being jacked up.

Alhumdullilah, the haziness as has gone down. My glasses did decide to break this morning though, the right arm just straight up cracked off. Thankfully, I was able to get new frames fairly quickly. I smiled as Zakaria totally didn’t notice, it was Hadi who was the only one who noticed my new frames I got while at the NIH.



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I just dropped off Zakaria to his father for the first week of winter break. As I sit in my car in the garage, listening to Hamilton, I suppose I am not surprised by the tears streaming down my face.

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