An extended stay hotel beats NIH any day except for the fact that my NIH room had Hadi. That being said, his twin brother is also an incredible snuggler. We got this. Mom and Dad hooked me up with groceries and I will get change for the washing machine tomorrow. Just need some TLC playing and it will be like dorm life all over again. So, as I listen to my beautiful child snore, I think about how lucky I am. Yes, I lost Hadi, yes, I became single overnight and yes, my house caught on fire due to a Verizon Fios cable box. I take back my comments about TiVo. That being said, losing Hadi has made me view the beauty of nature in this world while imagining what my child gets to enjoy in Jannah. And being single has allowed me to belt out tunes in my car and it feels pretty good...”Good As Hell” anyone? And my house, the house we decided to purchase the same day I discovered I was pregnant. The house the boys decided would look better with tons of Vaseline on the furniture when they were toddlers. The house where I worked hard with Leena to ride a bike. Yeah, there is a big hole in that house’s roof but I can’t deny that thinking about replacing the wooden floors brings me way too much excitement. I am yet again reminded how much of an incredible support network I have. Receiving a text from Melissa Fox, a neighbor with an amazing heart, exactly as I was bawling my eyes out and having her drive over and hug me and repeat that I wasn’t alone made the ugly crying reduce to just unpleasant crying. I seriously want to bounce from house to house with all the genuine offers we got, mostly just to evaluate cookie choices. Sana Pasha passed with her Biscoff cookies. Then there are the friends who went into beast mode, and told me what I needed to hear in regards to boundaries.
As I mentioned, many people have asked how they can support and so I decided to put together a list. Shocking, I know.
Some of these are also just random thoughts but I felt they needed to be included.
1. Donate to the Hadi Abdur Rasheed Research Fund
2. Donate to the Sterling and Loudoun County Firefighters
3. Send me awesome playlists for various moods
4. Apple crisp
5. Inspirational quotes
6. Hadi Cakes from Jenny Cakes
7. Playdates for Zakaria
8. Tell me this sucks but I will get through it
9. I am aware you have no idea what to say to me...just say that you don’t know what to say
10. I am aware that everything happens for a reason...but let’s be honest, neither of us knows that reason and so...see #9
11. I am also aware Allah doesn’t test anyone with what they can’t bare but I might turn into a bear if I hear it one more time
12. Tell me where I should travel
13. Oscar Ellis
14. Smile at someone and be genuine about it
15. Don’t judge me when I randomly yell out “jackass”
16. Remind me that yeah...I am strong and I actually like hearing it now
17. Tell me what you remember about Hadi or Zakaria
18. Biological isn’t the only way to make someone your daughter
19. La halwa wala quwata, illa billa
20. I am going to chase those waterfalls