It's raining...a lot. I woke up early this morning and decided Zakaria and I would go grocery shopping and then would head to a gardening center. Right before we left, I realized we should stop by the graveyard. I am not one to bring flowers when visiting Hadi's grave (I usually just have too much else on my mind), but Zakaria looked at me and asked if he could take one of the flowers from a bouquet that Aamir got me to put on Hadi's grave. I am glad we finished our errands before it really started raining. It's raining and it is the last day of 2018. Yes, I am looking forward to the beginnings of a new year but honestly, my new beginning started on October 21st. It is said that one of the best times to make duas/prayers is when it rains. I haven't been able to instill my love of thunderstorms in my children...yet. That being said, I currently have a vivid image in my head of Hadi dancing in the rain one summer afternoon. I am also remembering Hadi falling asleep minutes before midnight at Disney World one year and pretty much missing all the fireworks. Zakaria on the other hand, will most likely be waking me up at midnight tonight. I truly wish I could get a hug from Leena tonight but alas, it will be a couple of weeks before that happens as she is with her other family. 2010 made me a wife and a stepmother (and a miscarriage experiencer (is that a word?)), 2011 made me a mother of twins and 2017 made me a mother of an Aplastic Anemia warrior and 2018 made me the mother of a son who returned to Allah (SWT). That being said, the minute Leena, Hadi and Zakaria entered my life, I was forever changed into someone who I can't quite describe but I shall try to leave you with this image...I might now be into gardening and currently figuring out the best way to ensure lavender grows but you best believe I am listening to Brass Monkey while doing so. Thank you to all of you who have been part of this journey and will continue to be and who will bare with me while I try to wrangle more money out of you...but I would like to think I have better tactics than those who wait to serve you dinner until you donate. However, maybe I will lure you into giving to Be The Match and AAMDS by promising you chocolate....but nobody in my family likes chocolate. Miss ya, my little buggar.